- huggybuggy4u: since everyones going to be going NUTZ
- huggybuggy4u: im just going to make out with every hot guy there
- hiikatieeee: AGR333D
- huggybuggy4u: and be like GO PHILLIES OMG
- huggybuggy4u: im going to do it
- hiikatieeee: yessss
- huggybuggy4u: were doing it
- huggybuggy4u: like its done
- hiikatieeee: yes
- hiikatieeee: already done
- hiikatieeee: hahaahahha
- huggybuggy4u: woooo
- hiikatieeee: lets get digitssss
- huggybuggy4u: yess
- huggybuggy4u: HAY OMG YOU LIKE THE PHILLIES?!
- huggybuggy4u: ME TOO NO WAY!
- huggybuggy4u: OMG LETS MAKE OUT
- hiikatieeee: HAHAHYESSSSS
- hiikatieeee: i just want a cute boy with tight pants and good hair and cute eyes and a lipring. but i think that's asking too much because guys are ASSSHOOLLESSS
something doesn’t feel right.
you don’t need to put my down the way you do.
i can’t find where i belong.
i havn’t felt this lost in a while.
i realized something about myself. and i hate hate hate it.
i havn’t ever felt as lost and confused and out of place as i have these past 4 days.
but i got some of the best advice and had some of the most comforting conversations; thank you, yes you know who you are <3
i know i’m not capable of changing what happened in the past, but thanks for showing me that it’s okay to put it behind me.
whatever it is,
just do it.
do not ever live with any regrets.
i havn’t had a day like this in a loonggg time.
current time: 6:58 pm
currently wearing: what i slept in last night.
total hours slept since 11 pm last night: 12.
currently feeling: sick to my stomach.
all day i’ve been watching It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. I’ve watched like 7 or 8 episodes despite how dumb of a show it is, it’s always exciting to see familiar places and to hear localities mentioned. The rain outside my window has been pouring constantly for the past 5 hours or so. it’s funny how i woke up this morning wanting it to rain a little bit, and it’s turned into a storm. i had a really good conversation, if you could call it that, today that even though it wasn’t necessarily about anything specific it still felt comfortable.
i’m still worried about you and it’s killing me inside.
it’s hard watching someone in your life fall back into a pattern they promised they’d break. i’m sorry i can’t fix everything- and i told you that but you had to take it to this level. yesterday was the weirdest day of my life and i tried to push it out of my mind but i couldn’t. the worst part is that you purposely didn’t want me to find out because you knew i’d “just worry myself”. well i’m not worried about myself, i’m worried about you. you need to learn to accept some things and put them behind you, move on; but i’m not in any way encouraging you to forget. i know that it’s rough. i know that it hurts. i know how empty and lost you feel. i went through exactly what you’re going through; sometimes life takes a wrong turn and you’re completely knocked off your feet. i get it. it’s hard losing a big part of your life. i havn’t seen you in over a year and a half even though you live close. i trusted you to not let this happen again, you said you were strong enough. it feels like i’m running in circles with this. i just wish that you had the strength to come to me when you needed help because i told you i’m always here for you. little check-ups every once in a while. you’re the only person i want to talk about this with, but that’s not bound to happen because you’re afraid of confrontation. i helped you before because i care about you. i just want to know what went wrong. keep your chin up <3 call me if you see this, because i know that you know who you are. and don’t tell me “i know. i promise it won’t happen again. i’m better now.” like you did last time. this really screwed with my mind, but it shouldn’t of because i thought we got through this.
- huggybuggy4u: You suck
- hiikatieeee: why!
- huggybuggy4u: Omg
- hiikatieeee: what!
- huggybuggy4u: Hhaha
- hiikatieeee: wwwhhatttt
- huggybuggy4u: Because the little boy that im babysitting thinks that your pretty
- hiikatieeee: hahahahh!
- hiikatieeee: really
- hiikatieeee: how old is he
- huggybuggy4u: 6
- hiikatieeee: oh,
- hiikatieeee: nevermind.
- huggybuggy4u: Hhahahahahhaahah
- hiikatieeee: i thought he was like 13
- huggybuggy4u: !!!1
- huggybuggy4u: Ahhaha
- hiikatieeee: CRADLE ROBBER MMMMMMHM
it’s funny the way some things seem to work themselves out. i find the beauty in everything and everyone. i love with my entire heart and i laugh with everything inside of me; i regret far more than i probably should and i have high expectations. i’m finally figuring out for myself what i’ve always been told. i’m just being honest. i’m nothing more than a direct result of everyone i surround myself with, and i couldn’t be happier with the way everything is settling. if close your eyes, you can’t count the stars.
remember that time down by the harbor we sat on the dock with our feet skimming the water, with the sun folding into the night sky hours before it would rise again? our hair was blowing in the wind like sails and you told me it wouldn’t be the last time. it’s strange the way some things work themselves out. I’m learning now what i wish i was told 4 years ago.
- xohkaylaa: he really is just like dirty
- hiikatieeee: i can't listen to Say Anything ever again without remembering you hooking up with the shittiest guy EVER
- xohkaylaa: ahahahaha<3
- xohkaylaa: im sorry i had to put you through that :p
- hiikatieeee: he's dirtier than the corner of a 7/11 bathroom where all the drunk men piss when they're lost and confused that's never been cleaned in it's life